Pay Up or Shut Up

Native advertising. Branded content. What are those? They’re advertisements (typically online) that are placed within a publication whose contents blend with the context of the user experience. “What?” As I assume you just said to yourself. Well, it’s just a new form of ads that are less annoying and more entertaining. For all intents and purposes, let’s call it the future of advertising.

What does all this mean? Well blog readers, students, people seeking knowledge and also people desperately trying to connect with interesting people, it means shitty ads are on the decline.

What is the actual meaning of native advertising? Maybe a new annoying and innovative version of ads? Deceitful messaging? Perhaps even a desperate cry to make money for your brand?…#budlight. The answer will be debated for the next few years to come. Some people may say that the advertising industry should take caution or become self-conscious of their new and eager ways of connecting with people–I’m most certainly not.

67% of consumers feel positive about the advertising they see around them. And that was when advertising looked like this.   And now, thank God we at least have videos like this.

I have no complaints. Do you? That’s a rhetorical question. If in your head you are still saying, “but wait, no I think that ads are extremely annoying and….” Then start a Kickstarter campaign for a new way to pay for your mindless Internet activity because ads are keeping you from paying for your 140 character news bits, cat videos, Facebook stalking and celebrity photoshopped porn (maybe you pay for that last one).

Anyway, I’m not the biggest proponent of online advertising, either. Everyone gets annoyed when you try to show someone a song or video on YouTube and the excitedness is delayed because of a dumbass Geico ad. However, advertising in general is paving a toll free road for us to access our favorite websites. In this case, the more enjoyable and entertaining advertising, the happier we all can be.

If you still aren’t convinced, then tell me why and we’ll talk. At this point, not even Mark Copyranter himself could keep me from trying to steer you to an alternative perception.

Whether we’re talking about Siri taking over the world, printing guns or free Internet, the future is something we cannot predict. We can dream, imagine, think and maybe even plan. However, it is not something that we can necessarily control.  If that sounds cynical and blunt, then you are awarded no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. If you are still upset, then please buy more RAM for your brain, increase your bandwidth and figure out more shortcuts to your laptop because this is where life is heading.

This is the current future of online interaction. Advertising in some way, form or fashion is evolving into entertainment. This is beyond your ordinary Coca Cola shoutout in a Mary Kate and Ashley movie. Where we are now with advertising is authentic productions, short stories, documentaries and sometimes parodies.  Don’t tell me you haven’t cringed during a Red Bull video or laughed at a branded video from Funny or Die.  If you don’t keep up with these social trends or choose not to, then I applaud you more than Spike Lee during a Knicks game–it’s nice to be unplugged.  Just know that even Alexander Supertramp himself couldn’t survive alone without technology in today’s world. Clothing, bare essentials, maps, weapons and a few good conversations can keep a dream alive, but they will hardly allow you to achieve it.  Be opinionated,  pursue your dreams and keep the Internet alive and well.


Side note–please realize that you just read an entire native advertisement for this blog; branded under Two Beers and a Coffee.





Biggest Balls in the Biz

I like brands with balls.

Old Spice arguably has the biggest right now, but Kmart‘s are growing faster than your pubescent little brother’s and Dodge threw their testes into the ring when they partnered with Ron Burgundy for the new Durango. Everyone in advertising talks about “disruption” and “breakthrough ideas,” but few campaigns are unexpected enough to blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday. (If you get that reference, you have taste.)

Ever heard of Tipp-Ex? Me neither. It’s Germany’s version of White-Out, and its balls are bigger than Ivan Drago‘s. And Tipp-Ex produced what is, hands down, my favorite advertising execution from the past the decade. Allow me to introduce… the Tippexperience.


The Easter Bunny couldn’t find all the Easter eggs hidden in this rich media unit/YouTube experiment. The video starts with a compassionate hunter sparing the life of a grizzly bear. He breaks the fourth wall and the constraints of the YouTube frame as he grabs a Tipp-Ex Pocket Mouse from the ad unit nearby. He erases the verb in the title of the video, “A hunter shoots a bear,” and asks the viewer to “white and rewrite” the story. It’s like a choose your adventure story, but in video form, and it’s awesome. The following words yield my favorite results:

  • FUCKS—Obvious first query.
  • Parties with
  • Drinks with
  • Dances with
  • Shrooms with—All drug references elicit this response.
  • Washes
  • Cooks with
  • Shops with
  • Dates
  • Marries
  • Plays games with
  • Shakes hands with
  • High fives
  • Paints
  • Watches TV with
  • Mown the lawn with
  • Scares—You can’t.
  • Tipp-Exes—Ha!
  • Jumps through hoops with
  • Tickles
  • Plays footballs with
  • Sings with
  • Hangs out with
  • Farts with
  • Fishes with
  • Moonwalks with

But wait, there’s more! Allow me to introduce Tippexperience 2.


The hunter and bear are celebrating a birthday party in 2012, but there’s an asteroid on its way to destroy Earth. It’s up to you to save them by inputting a different year. I found these:

  • -10,000,000,000
  • -10,000
  • -2000
  • 0
  • 100
  • 500
  • 1000
  • 1500
  • 1800
  • 1900
  • 1914
  • 1930
  • 1939
  • 1940
  • 1950
  • 1954
  • 1960
  • 1970
  • 1974
  • 1980
  • 1981
  • 1989
  • 1990
  • 1998
  • 2000
  • 2001
  • 2002
  • 2003
  • 2004
  • 2005
  • 2006
  • 2007
  • 2008
  • 2009
  • 2010
  • 2011
  • 2012
  • 2013
  • 2050
  • 3000
  • 10,000

My challenge to you: Find the results I have yet to discover. Post in the comments. Best discovery wins a shout out and whatever else you can negotiate for.

And please, show me a bigger set of balls that makes all other brands doubt if theirs ever even dropped.